Why We Have to Be Willing to Say Hard Things

No one ever wants to have to say hard things.  We don’t want to have those direct and difficult conversations.  Where we fire someone.  Or correct someone.  Or have to tell them “No.”

say hard things

But we show our genuine love for someone when we are willing to say hard things.  Because we want the best for the people on our team.  Whether it’s our family or our firm.

Digging into Proverbs 13:24, we find three thoughts to guide those difficult conversations.


1. Not saying hard things is not loving.


The first half of Proverbs 13:24 equates a refusal to correct with a refusal to love.  If we won’t say hard things, then we’re saying we don’t love them.

We don’t want to say hard things because we fear how they will respond.  But love fully formed—love put into action—will remove the fear (1 John 4:18).

Be willing to love your team enough to tell them hard things.  And that will make it easier for you to tell them what they need to hear.


2. Saying hard things is kind.


The second half of Proverbs 13:24 tells us we show our love for our team by reproving them.  If you want the best for your team, then you will want to make them better.

I used to have a difficult time reproving my team members.  I was barely able to get the words out.  But beating around the bush didn’t help anyone.  I now realize that to be unclear is to be unkind.

Be direct.  Look them in the eye.  And say it with a heart of love.  Your genuine concern will show through.


3. Be diligent to say hard things.


In the Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word shachar implies doing something with earnestness.  It’s as if you got up early in the morning specifically to do that thing.

Don’t put off saying what needs to be said.  It won’t do you any good.  And it certainly won’t help the one who needs to hear it.

Be quick to remove what you don’t want taking root, whether in your home or workplace.  If you will do that, you will be glad you were willing to say hard things.


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