How Do You Define Yourself?

What Gives You Your Identity?

What makes you you? When someone says to you, “Tell me about yourself,” what do you say? Are you the profession you chose? Are you the organizations that you belong to? Or are you your ethnicity? What is it that you allow to define yourself?

define yourself

Many people assume their identity stems from who they believe they are, and many take their identity from external realities. When asked what they do, they respond, “I am an architect.” Or “I am a dentist.” By responding that way, they allow their profession to define them.

Others define themselves by the organizations they are part of. They may say, “I am the NRA.” Or “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” I think it’s great to be part of organizations. God made people to be relational, so it is perfectly fine to be part of organizations. But when people allow organizations to define them to the point of giving them their identity, then that becomes a problem.

Then there are others who allow themselves to be defined by their ethnicity. They may describe themselves as Scottish, or Chinese, or African (all three of those ethnicities live in my house), and I think it’s great to be proud of your ethnic heritage. But when your ethnicity defines who you are, then you lose your identity to your national origin.

So how should you think about your identity? Here are three principles to guide your thinking in that context.

Your Business Is God’s Business

Why Your Work Matters to God

I’ve been asked many times throughout my career if I am a pastor. And since I am not ordained, I respond in the negative. But I am a minister. And for that matter, so are you. Because your business is God’s business.

God's business

What you do for a living matters to God. While God wants some of us to become pastors, He does not want all of His kids to become pastors. He wants some of us to be involved in the business world. By serving Him in business, we can be ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20) to those we work with, those we work for, and those who work for us.

God wants you to do your work so that others see Him in your work. You do that best when you conduct yourself as a person of integrity. God wants you to do the right thing even if no one is there to check up on you. He wants you to use, what Proverbs 16:11 (NIV) calls, “honest scales.”

Based on Proverbs 16:11, here are three reasons why “honest scales” are important in God’s business.

Consider Your Personality Trajectory

Who You Hang Around Influences Who You Will Become

How’s your personality trajectory? Do you like the person you are becoming? Do you feel you are becoming more like the person you want to be? If not, it may have something to do with the people you hang around. You will become like who you hang around.

personality trajectory

Think through what kind of person you want to become. And consider the people you hang around. To change your personality trajectory, allow yourself to meet new people. You will become like the people you surround yourself with.

Here are three key questions you must ask yourself in order to be aware of the influence that the people you hang around have over you.

Clean the Barnacles off of Your Mind

Remove What Has Become Attached to Your Thinking

Have you ever seen barnacles attached to a ship? These little crustaceans latch onto a marine vessel and hold onto the ship to feed. While they may seem harmless enough, they cause many problems for the vessel. Similarly, you can have things that become attached to your mind over time. You may not be aware of them at first, but eventually they can cause you many problems.

barnacles

People who work on a ship understand that it’s important to remove the barnacles. In the same way, it’s important for you to get remove these things that have become attached to your mind.

Here’s what you want to prevent becoming attached to your mind, how they are similar to barnacles, and what you can do to clean those things from your mind.

You Can Help Others Be Free

But First You Must Set Yourself Free

In the movie The Matrix (1999), the character Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) shares insights with his protégé Neo (Keanu Reeves) about what it means to be free and what it means to be captive: “Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.”

free

[Spoiler Warning: In this dystopian world, humans created artificial intelligence that took over the planet and subjugated humans as their source of energy to power the machines. Neo is one of these people who was oblivious about his captivity, but Morpheus offers him the opportunity to escape the captivity and understand what is truly real. Neo accepts the opportunity, and Morpheus proceeds to explain to him what “the matrix” is and what he can do to defeat it—as the fate of humanity depends on him.]

In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo:

The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. … It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Like The Matrix, we are all born into a world where our mind is imprisoned. Like Neo, we must learn what “the matrix” is and how we can defeat it in our own lives.

Here are three things you must do to get yourself free from “the matrix” you were born into.

Three Characteristics You Need to Be Successful

But They Are Not What You Think They Are

When you think of the attributes of successful people, what do you think of? Do you think of someone who is a winner-take-all negotiator? Or someone who ruthlessly pursues what will enhance their life? Or someone who desires to win at all costs?

successful

While those characteristics may be the world’s standards for success, God has a very different standard. God doesn’t value a kind of success where you are the only one to win. God values a kind of success where you help others win. Because when others win, you win as well.

Psalm 41:1 (ESV) says

Blessed is the one who considers the poor!
In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him.

To be truly successful, here are three characteristics from Psalm 112:4 and Psalm 116:5 you need to develop in yourself.

Why Happiness Is a Choice

Three Things to Avoid If You Truly Want to Be Happier

Everyone says they want to be happy. People frequently quote from the Declaration of Independence about the importance of the “pursuit of happiness.” And yet most people today are not truly happy. Abraham Lincoln famously said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” While that may sound surprising, it is nonetheless true. Happiness is a choice.

happiness

You may know people that aren’t happy unless they have something to complain about. Although I’m saying that tongue-in-cheek, you know who I’m talking about. They have chosen a way of life that involves listening to negative voices and looking at the negative side of things. Their negativity is a choice.

A few years ago, an Australian palliative care nurse wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. In the book, Bronnie Ware recorded the themes of regret that repeatedly surfaced in the final days of dying people. And one of the top five: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Ware goes on to say: “They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.”

People can listen to the wrong voices in their life. As a result, they think that’s how they need to live their lives. But those voices do not bring happiness. Instead they bring misery.

If you want to be happy, then you have to decide that you will not listen to negativity. If you truly want happiness in your life, then you need to stop listening to these three voices.

How Is Your Attitude during Trials at Work?

How to Take Charge of Your Attitude in the Trials

There have been times I have allowed work to get me down. I can remember many times when I just didn’t want to have to go to work because of what I had to deal with at the office. When the trials from work weighed heavy upon me, those were the times that I needed to take charge of my attitude—but those were also the hardest times to take charge of my attitude.

attitude

Chuck Swindoll, the senior pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, and the voice for the Insight for Living broadcast, said this about attitude: “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

What’s your attitude like at work? Are you going through trials at work? Here are three things to keep in mind to help you take charge of your attitude.

Why You Should Cultivate Joy in the Everyday

You Can’t Wait until Tomorrow to Rejoice

The Scripture says that you should cultivate joy every day as a result of your relationship with God. But what does that look like? And why is it so important?

cultivate joy

To rejoice means to be cheerful or calmly happy, according to Strong’s Concordance, particularly in reference to your relationship with God. It means always having a peaceful delight in your soul. It doesn’t necessarily mean jumping up and down over something. Instead, it’s about having peaceful delight—in the midst of whatever is happening to you at the moment.

Having that perspective is not easy to do—and it’s impossible if you’re trying to do it without God. But it is nonetheless important to cultivate that perspective all the time.

Here are three reasons you need to have joy in your everyday life.

How Often Do You Get Brainwashed?

Take Time Regularly to Cleanse Your Mind

When I was a young man, I had a very selfish and self-centered paradigm. I believed the world revolved around me. Eventually, that paradigm broke down for me. It left me feeling empty and lonely, and I realized there had to be another way. Knowing that my paradigm wasn’t working, I was willing to explore Christianity. In reading the Bible, I saw that Jesus’ teachings were antithetical to my way of doing things, but I also saw how it would provide the peace that I didn’t have. As a result, I was willing to be indoctrinated into a way of thinking that went against my current belief system. I was willing to make a paradigm shift. I was willing to be brainwashed by myself.

brainwashed

Brainwashing is usually defined as a process of indoctrinating someone into a way of thinking that goes against their current belief system. Brainwashing is reprehensible practice—unless the person getting brainwashed is also the person doing the brainwashing. In that case, people can choose to indoctrinate themselves into a new way of thinking because they realize that their current belief system is not working for them. They realize it is important for them to actively remove that old way of thinking that is not working and replace it with something else that will work. They need to make a paradigm shift.

People view the world through a paradigm. It’s how they make sense of the world. There are times that people may realize that their paradigm is not helping them and they need to make a change in how they think.

Perhaps you’re at a point where the way you’re doing things isn’t working for you. Perhaps it’s your paradigm about God, or about yourself, or about others. Perhaps you’ve been believing things that haven’t been helpful for you. As a result, you may see it’s time that you brainwashed yourself.

You may have been a follower of Jesus for a long time, but you may find your paradigm isn’t working for you. You may realize your views about God, your views about yourself, or your views about others need to change.

If that’s where you are, then I invite you to explore how you can get brainwashed by yourself. Here are some questions to ask yourself and some practical steps to take for changing how you think.